Spare a thought for the minister’s wife says C.H. Spurgeon

‘If I was a young woman, and was thinking of being married, I would not marry a minister, because the position of minister’s wife is a very difficult one for anyone to fill. Churches do not give a married minister two salaries, one for the husband and the other for the wife; but, in many cases, they look for the services of the wife, whether they pay for them or not.

The minister’s wife is expected also to know everything about the church, and in another sense she is to know nothing of it; and she is equally blamed by some people whether she knows everything or nothing. Her duties consist in being always at home to attend to her husband and her family, and being always out, visiting other people, and doing all sorts of things for the whole church! Well, of course, that is impossible; she cannot be at everybody’s beck and call, and she cannot expect to please everybody. Her husband cannot do that, and I think he is a great fool if he tries to do it; and I am certain that, as the husband cannot please everybody, neither can the wife. There will be sure to be somebody or other who will be displeased, especially if that somebody had herself half hoped to be the minister’s wife. Difficulties arise continually in the best regulated churches; and, as I said before, the position of the minister’s wife is always a very trying one.

Still, I think that if I was a Christian young woman, I would marry a Christian minister if I could, because there is an opportunity of doing so much good in helping him in his service for Christ. It is a great help to the cause of God to keep the minister himself in good order for his work. It is his wife’s duty to see that he is not uncomfortable at home; for, if everything there is happy, and free from care, he can give all his thoughts to his preparation for the pulpit; and the godly woman who thus helps her husband to preach better, is herself a preacher though she never speaks in public, and she becomes to the highest degree useful to the church of Christ committed to her husband’s charge.’

So said C.H. Spurgeon at a wedding recorded in Sermons Preached on Unusual Occasions

Why are there so many unmarried godly women in our churches?

‘Why are there so many unmarried, college graduated, serious-about-Christ, committed-to-the-church, put-together young women who haven’t found a groom, and don’t see any possibilities on the horizon?’

asks Kevin deYoung. Well worth a read.



For an interesting follow-up piece read this.

Thanks Lizzie for drawing my attention to these.

What is your marriage about?

Tim and Kathy Keller have written a book on marriage The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God published in the US today and in the UK on the 21st November.  Having heard some of their marriage enrichment material from Redeemer in New York it promises to be a very helpful resource for all.

Here’s one of a few trailers to whet your appetite.

why marriage is worth the effort

It’s surprising to see an article in the mainstream media encouraging couples to work at their marriage so it’s worth highlighting them when they come along. This one is worth a read.

The motives for sticking together fall far short of those I would appeal to when urging Christians to work at a marriage but they are true none the less. According to  Angela Neustatter;

There is now so much research demonstrating that if people can manage to survive their tough patches, and make time and energy to focus on what they have together rather than what is missing, the hidden psychological and physical benefits are enormous. It’s not a question of morality versus narcissism – making your bed and lying on it, rather than heading for the hills – but understanding what will ultimately make us happiest.

[Thanks to Solas Centre for highlighting this article]

Co-habiting couples 6 times more likely to split – The argument for marriage

John Hayward of the Jubilee centre said:

‘All the evidence suggests that families headed by married, biological parents who have not previously lived together provide the best environment for both the individuals involved and their children.

‘This has huge personal, social, economic and political consequences for us all.’

See Hayward’s response to the recent study on the value of marriage by the Institute for Fiscal Studies here

The secret to successful marriage from Piper, Carson, Keller