20 ways to keep the 5th commandment – honour your father & mother

Preaching through the 10 commandments I sought out some advice from friends and family on what it means to honour our parents.  Here’s what we came up with.

20 practical ways to honour your father and mother

1. Show gratitude for the ways they have shown love – however imperfectly — thank them for their love in sacrifice, commitment, care, concern.
2. Visit often
3. Phone home. One guy said to me ‘ I phone both of my divorced parents at least 3 times a week during my walk home from work it’s because I know that communication and keeping in touch is important to them and makes them feel valued. This doesn’t come naturally to me (difficult relationship with my parents sometimes) but I continue because honouring is important.’
4. Continue to seek out and then listen well to their advice – even if you choose a different path. Mark Twain once said ‘When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he’d learned in seven years.’
5. See they are well cared for in their old age (that may mean saving for their future, moving your home, etc.)
6. Pray for them (if they are Christians ask how you can be praying for them).
7. Tell them how great Jesus is (if you and they are Christians they will be blessed more than you can imagine…if not their salvation!)
8. Say you’re sorry if you can look back and see ways in which you did dishonour them and thank them for their patience with you
9. Repent of any attitude that wishes they were out of the way…to free up more time or because you want your inheritance now!
10. Encourage and facilitate active grand-parenting! Let them in to your lives even more as grand-parents.
11. Don’t talk negatively about them behind their backs or grumble against them to others.
12. Speak positively about them to others
13. ‘Value your parents as most parents give their best to their children. I know this isn’t always the case but as a mum myself, I know we do the best we can’
14. Expect the relationship to improve. ‘The beautiful thing about growing older is that my mum and step dad have become my friends.’
15. Ask her Dad’s permission before you propose.
16. Value what is most important in them especially if they prayed for you and encouraged you in your faith.
17. Remember important dates…birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s day, Father’s day
18. Place photos of them in prominent places in your room
19. Accept them for who they are even if you wish they were different.
20. Don’t take what you have been given for granted – a secure, loving, lifelong relationship

Ask yourself: ‘would we be happy if our young children treated us like we, now grown, treat our parents?’ Kevin DeYoung