Mar 28, 2012
neil

If you’re ‘going-out’…you probably ought to read this

As pastor of a church with quite a few students I’m pretty often in a conversation about dating or going-out.

More than anything else it reminds me of 1) how confusing and plain wrong is the advice we receive from the world in all it’s wisdom and 2) how little advice if any I got from anyone in the church.

Coming from a non-Christian background I didn’t have a clue what ‘going-out’ was all about. Most of my contempories were pretty clueless too. We knew we were supposed to only go out with other Christians and we knew ‘how far we could go’ in terms of physical intimacy and that was about it.

I don’t remember anyone saying to me ‘I don’t think you’re ready to be anyone’s spouse so I’m not sure you’re ready to go out’. Shame they didn’t because it’s what I needed to hear.

Why do we only start to meet with couples to talk about their relationship after they’ve made the biggest decision of their lives ie to get married?

Shouldn’t we be helping them assess whether they should be in the relationship at all, asking them how it’s going, helping them work out what it means to be godly in it, and of course whether and when they should get engaged.

Well if you’re going out or thinking of going out talk to your pastor and get some advice. But in the meantime if you want to read something about how to lead well in a godly going-out relationship then this is place to start.

Two articles on the boundless.org website which get to the heart of leading well are

What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like? by Scott Croft
Stop test-driving your girlfriend by Michael Lawrence

 

 

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