Jun 21, 2011
neil

Sharing the gospel with your non-Christian family – 8 thoughts on what makes it so tough

Randy Newman waited a long time to see his 75 year old mother come to faith in Christ.  That’s what makes him the ideal author of Bringing the gospel home – sharing your faith with family and friends. From his personal experience he writes;

I’ve seen the value of patience, the significance of prayer, the marvel of grace, and the power of love.

Most Christians find sharing their faith a challenge at the best of times but sharing faith with family as Newman testifies ‘seems infinitely more daunting.’

The book is a great resource to help all of those who like myself have the responsibility and challenge of being Christians in a family who are mostly not Christians. The book isn’t about technique or methodology but about how the gospel meets the unique challenges of witness to family. So Newman begins the book saying;

How we think about our family while telling them the good news is almost as important as how we think about our message.

So here are 8 take homes from his first chapter to help us think a little more about a tough topic.

1. Family is at the heart of God’s purposes.

It is designed to be a special place with unqiue ‘family dynamics’. We should have a special concern for family. When it works well it is a real blessing.

Families were instituted by God to foster intimacy, to build trust, to be the springboard from which all relationships should work.

2. Families are often where we feel the effects of the fall most acutely.

The closer the relationship the greater the pain when sin spoils or even fractures relationships that are designed to run deep. Nowhere is the consequence of  sin greater or more disturbing than in the home.  When we have been hurt by members of our family through arguments, divorce, abuse and so on it has profound effects.

3.When family works well it makes witnessing hard.

If our family is a truly happy one then who wants to be the person to break it apart? When we come to faith it adds a new dynamic. There is a new person in our lives, we now have a relationship with Christ, not shared by our family.

Witnessing is understandably hard if we love our parents. We are desperate not to upset them or disappoint them. When a particularly close relationship with a sibling is suddenly altered by our new relationship with Christ it threatens to drive a wedge between you. No wonder if our first attempts to witness are not met with an enthusiastic reception, out of love for our family, we begin to want to hold back.

4. When family goes wrong it makes witnessing hard.

If we have been hurt or betrayed by our family, because the pain runs so deep, we might well run from family. Maybe we cut off connections with certain family members or choose to spend less time at home or simply emotionally disconnect. To protect ourselves from the pain we seek independence from our family.

How helpful to be reminded that Jesus was rejected by his own family only to see them come to faith later. Most notably, James, his own half-brother who would become a key leader of the church in Jerusalem.

5. For those blessed by a loving family the gospel teaches us that family is not ultimate

In becoming Christian we find new reasons to thank God as we see for the first time that a loving family comes from his hand in order to bless but we also learn that we have to stop idolizing family relationships as we serve God.

Jesus said in Mark 3 ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.’

Jesus’ placing of family underneath kingdom relationships serves as both a rebuke and an encouragement.

6. For those saddened by broken family relationships the gospel teaches us that family is redeemable

The Bible also teaches us to not give up on even the worst of families.

Remembering how Christ in the gospel refused to give up on me and continuing to rely on the love of God that first changed me is crucial to empowering .

7. Evangelising family will feel like hard work

Newman wants us to recognise that witnessing to our family is going to be hard and it’s probably best to acknowledge that up front.

When you know the difficulty of running a marathon, you train for it, eat the right foods, get proper rest, etc. If you think it’s going to be easy, you’ll probably drop out of the race early on.

8. Evangelising family is emotionally charged

Two emotional struggles need to be highlighted – guilt and anger. Both seem to attack from within and without.

It might be guilt that we have not done more to seek the salvation of family members. We’ve not particularly prayed or we’ve stop trying to speak to them about Christ.

It could be guilt that comes from within because we are conscious about the past.

Our family, in other words has seen us at our worst, and the guilt we feel for losing our temper or any other display of sin immobilizes us in our witness.

It could be guilt from without as family members demonstrate their disappointment & disapproval that we have become a Christian or even a threat to disown us. Parents who have sought to control and manipulate their children are unlikely to stop when we reach adulthood.

Anger often rises in the frustration that comes from not being understood as a Christian or when the gospel is not understood no matter how clearly we have explained it.

Several people I spoke to expressed frustration from lack of objectivity. This seems to be in short supply when we’re around our family.

Maybe, Newman argues, objectivity is not only an unrealistic goal but an undesirable one too. Love rather than dispassionate  objectivity is a better goal. It is when love is our motivator that

we can let go of the anger, disengage the guilt, and share the gospel so that it truly sounds like gracious, attractive good news instead of haughty, condemning bad news.

 

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