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Al Stewart Director of Geneva Push a church planting movement in Australia spoke at Planting for Christ in London on Wednesday.

Here’s his definition of a buy cheap Flomax healthy vibrant and probably young church plant: ’It has buy cheap Flomax vision and energy and a heart to reach the community around them.’

In a buy cheap Flomax really helpful section of his closing talk Al highlighted some of the buy cheap Flomax signs that a church or church-plant is growing old. Essentially he said ‘churches age as people age’.

8 marks of an ageing church

1)  Loss of vision. As you get older you find it harder to see clearly – you buy cheap Flomax lose your vision. So to an ageing church in which vision for buy cheap Flomax reaching out is lost and contentment to be a church that buy cheap Flomax cares for it’s members is suffiicient.

2)  Loss of flexibility. Just as when buy cheap Flomax we age physically we find it harder to touch toes, etc. so in ageing churches leadership demonstrate a buy cheap Flomax lack of ability  to flex and change.

Every church says it buy cheap Flomax wants to grow but Stewart reminded us that very few want to buy cheap Flomax change.

3) Comfort. As the buy cheap Flomax body begins to creak comfort becomes a necessity and a priority. In ageing churches we are buy cheap Flomax more and more concerned about the comfort of our members than buy cheap Flomax anything else. A church can be slowly declining for decades and buy cheap Flomax be comfortable

4) A loss of urgency. As you buy cheap Flomax get older you get slower. Older churches take decades to make decisions!

5) Harder to make new friends. Ageing churches are not good at welcoming new people. When you’re young you buy cheap Flomax love making new friends and you are excited about meeting new people. Older in life and buy cheap Flomax you have all the friends you’re looking for. Churches reaching retirement are buy cheap Flomax churches in which everyone has all the friends they want or buy cheap Flomax need and new people are not going to find their way in.

6) Loss of hunger. Just as older people lose their appetite for buy cheap Flomax food so an ageing church loses its appetite for challenge and buy cheap Flomax growth. Decline is inevitable once the hunger has gone.

Al had two further points that I didn’t fully get down at the time but I’m working on that buy cheap Flomax and will add those in due course. If you were there and buy cheap Flomax you know what they were feel free to let me know!

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( HT: Mez McConnell)

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John Dyer investigates!

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Finding fault, finding forgiveness – part 1

“There are buy cheap Flomax two basic problems in every marriage: one is the husband and buy cheap Flomax the other is the wife.” So quipped author and Church Pastor, Tim Chester.

After all how long into any marriage before we begin to buy cheap Flomax realise that this is harder than we thought it would be!

There are buy cheap Flomax many different factors, situations and circumstances that put pressure on any marriage but crucial to buy cheap Flomax a Christian marriage is a mutual recognition that sin and failure are buy cheap Flomax inevitable.

Yet, despite our theology it buy cheap Flomax can be profoundly disorientating to discover that my spouse has faults I didn’t know about or buy cheap Flomax expect. Somehow, at least for a time, I thought my spouse had buy cheap Flomax avoided the fall.

If we are buy cheap Flomax to build strong marriages we need to grasp that through our failings and buy cheap Flomax faults God works out his purposes for us. They are his opportunity to buy cheap Flomax manifest grace and to demonstrate his power in the weakness of a buy cheap Flomax marriage between two sinners.

Three books have buy cheap Flomax been particularly helpful to me in preparing to teach a seminar at our church entitled ‘finding fault, finding forgiveness’. They are When sinners Say ‘I Do’ by Dave Harvey, The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller and What did you expect? by Paul David Tripp.  Each of the buy cheap Flomax three are biblical, insightful and honest but above all else each are buy cheap Flomax optimistic about the impact that spouses can have on each other.

Keller’s book appeals to buy cheap Flomax us to see our marriages as preparation for the great marriage to buy cheap Flomax come between Christ and the church. Once we understand that God has buy cheap Flomax given us a spouse now to change us, to make us fit for buy cheap Flomax Christ, it changes the way we face up to finding fault. Keller writes;

What if you buy cheap Flomax began your marriage understanding its purpose as spiritual friendship for the buy cheap Flomax journey to the new creation? What if you buy cheap Flomax expected marriage to be about helping each other grow out of your buy cheap Flomax sins and flaws into the new self God is creating? Then…you will roll up your sleeves and get to work.

So as we get going with a short series of posts on ‘finding fault, finding forgiveness’ let’s start with five necessary insights for buy cheap Flomax facing up to sin and finding opportunity in them.

A. Five realities to remember in a marriage:

1. As sinners living together in a buy cheap Flomax fallen world sin and failure are inevitable.

You might think you buy cheap Flomax are going to find the perfect match but no Christian should live under any such illusion. The Christian of all people should be buy cheap Flomax ready to face that fact. When we do enter marriage with realistic expectations it buy cheap Flomax helps us to be ready not to run from them but to buy cheap Flomax embrace them as opportunity.

2. ‘Everyone’s marriage becomes something they didn’t intend it to be.’

Paul Tripp’s observation is buy cheap Flomax both obvious and yet profound. There is always an element of disappointment as well as frustration in a buy cheap Flomax marriage which is flawed. When two sinners commit to spending their lives together it’s the marriage itself that will face challenges.

3. ‘Patterns of sin and buy cheap Flomax failure in marriage must be met with patterns of confession and buy cheap Flomax forgiveness.’

Paul Tripp again on the buy cheap Flomax very way we overcome the corrosive affect of sin in a buy cheap Flomax marriage relationship.Being quick to confess our sin and quick to buy cheap Flomax forgive each other’s sin are necessary to building a strong marriage.

4. When we live this way real transformation is possible in a marriage.

So many marriages are damaged by our unwillingness to ‘find fault’ or to ‘find forgiveness’ but when buy cheap Flomax patterns of mutual confession and mutual forgiveness begin to embed themselves in a buy cheap Flomax marriage real change happens

5. None of this buy cheap Flomax is possible without the gospel that supplies this power to confess and buy cheap Flomax this power to forgive.

In future posts we’ll see that buy cheap Flomax the ability to confess sin, freely and willingly and the power to buy cheap Flomax forgive sin lie not in us but in the gospel and buy cheap Flomax who we are in Christ.

The last word goes to Tim Keller:

I don’t know of anything more necessary in marriage than buy cheap Flomax the ability to forgive, fully, freely, unpunishingly, from the heart.

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Peter Hitchens has written an interesting piece in this weeks Spectator (sadly not available to read on-line) in which he argues that buy cheap Flomax those who are opposing gay marriage are fighting the wrong battle. It is buy cheap Flomax in his words ‘a stupid distraction from the main war’.

Rather than buy cheap Flomax form coalitions to oppose the tiny number of gay men and buy cheap Flomax women seeking to marry (relative that is to heterosexual couples) we need to face up to the fact that

‘The real zone of battle, a buy cheap Flomax vast 5,000 mile front along which the forces of righteousness have buy cheap Flomax retreated without counter-attacking for nearly 50 years, involves the hundreds of thousands of marriages undermined by ridiculously easy divorce, the buy cheap Flomax millions of children hurt by those divorces and the increasing multitudes of homes where buy cheap Flomax parents, single or in couples, have never been married at all and buy cheap Flomax never will be.’

There is buy cheap Flomax a lot that is right with this argument but what Hitchens overlooks is buy cheap Flomax that the gay marriage argument is not really an argument about gay marriage at all. It is buy cheap Flomax an argument about every marriage and an argument about gender.

1)It is buy cheap Flomax an argument about every marriage. If the law is changed then buy cheap Flomax that changes marriage for everybody.  My marriage of 18 years is overnight redefined.

Not least it buy cheap Flomax means that the centuries old, universal, understanding that marriage is buy cheap Flomax inextricably linked with children will be broken for ever.  This has buy cheap Flomax unseen and probably unintended consequences that I will explore in a buy cheap Flomax future post.  But let it buy cheap Flomax be known now that the redefinition of marriage will cause much harm to buy cheap Flomax our children and children’s children.

2) It is an argument about the eradification of gender.

Perhaps the buy cheap Flomax very last place where difference between gender is recognised is buy cheap Flomax in the institution of marriage. When this is gone the buy cheap Flomax language of male and female, husband and wife, father and buy cheap Flomax mother will be gone, perhaps for ever.

So I share Hitchens concern – where have we been for the past 40 years? But also appeal for buy cheap Flomax a recognition that there are bigger things at stake than buy cheap Flomax the right or not of a few thousand gay couples per year to buy cheap Flomax marry.

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Tim Challies has buy cheap Flomax put together this excellent infographic on the Trinity. For more visit his website including this buy cheap Flomax great one on books of the Bible

(HT: Lawson Hembree)

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Great article by Steve Cornell. Does not say everything that buy cheap Flomax would need to be said in such a situation but is buy cheap Flomax a very helpful starting point.

(HT: Tony Lane)

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Ask a buy cheap Flomax friend for a definition of marriage and you might expect something like this

‘Marriage is buy cheap Flomax an expression of love in which two people make an buy cheap Flomax exclusive commitment to one another.’

Or  maybe something like

‘a private arrangement between parties committed to love’

If that buy cheap Flomax is what marriage is what possible reason could there be for buy cheap Flomax anyone objecting to same-sex marriage? It would be buy cheap Flomax as discriminatory as telling a couple they could not marry because they came from buy cheap Flomax different countries or they had different coloured skin.

It’s working from buy cheap Flomax such a definition of marriage that gay lobbyists (and buy cheap Flomax an increasing number of the population including politians and a prime minister) argue that same-sex marriage is simply a matter of equality.  The argument goes that buy cheap Flomax there can be no rational reason to resist the implementation of same-sex marriage legislation and buy cheap Flomax therefore what lies behind the resistance of ‘traditionalists’ is buy cheap Flomax nothing more than prejudice. Those who oppose a change in the buy cheap Flomax law are now almost without thought regarded as simply  intolerant, bigoted and homophobic.

But what if the kind of definitions we’ve considered are buy cheap Flomax not a sufficient definition for marriage. What if marriage by definition means more than buy cheap Flomax a loving commitment? What then?

Much of the buy cheap Flomax debate about same-sex marriage has centred around attitudes towards gay people when buy cheap Flomax really the debate needs to centre around the question ‘what is marriage’? How we define marriage is buy cheap Flomax absolutely crucial to whether or not it is appropriate to legislate for buy cheap Flomax same-sex marriage.

By far the most helpful book on the subject  is David Blackenhorn’s  The Future of Marriage. For the record Blackenhorn is no homophobe.  He states quite clearly that what is at stake is not ‘good versus bad, enlightened versus reactionary. The real conflict is buy cheap Flomax between one good and another: the equal dignity of real persons and buy cheap Flomax the worth of homosexual love, versus flourishing of children. On each side, the buy cheap Flomax threat to something important is real.’

Blackenhorn’s book demonstrates that marriage cannot only mean a commitment between two people who love each other. He writes:

‘Defining marriage as essentially a buy cheap Flomax private emotional relationship obscures a large piece of reality…’

Why?

Because Blackenhorn points out that buy cheap Flomax marriage exists for a bigger purpose, it always has. Marriage is buy cheap Flomax a social institution that has been designed primarily for the purpose of raising children. He writes ‘Childrearing is buy cheap Flomax probably the single most important social need that marriage is designed to buy cheap Flomax meet, but there are numerous others as well.’

Three important statements then with which to finish this introductory post

1.  That children (at least the buy cheap Flomax biological possibility of children even if sadly frustrated by infertility) are buy cheap Flomax central to the definition of marriage is a reality recognised by former Home Secretary Jack Straw MP back in 2000 when he introduced legislation for same-sex civil partnerships:

“I’m a buy cheap Flomax very strong supporter of gay rights and treating people the same regardless of their sexual preference – but marriage has a different purpose.  Marriage is buy cheap Flomax about a union for the procreation of children, which by definition can buy cheap Flomax only happen between a heterosexual couple. So I see no circumstances in which we would ever bring forward proposals for buy cheap Flomax so-called gay marriages.”

2. The interconnectedness of marriage and children  is also enshrined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Article 16.

• (1) Men and buy cheap Flomax women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or buy cheap Flomax religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are buy cheap Flomax entitled to buy cheap Flomax equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.
• (2) Marriage shall be buy cheap Flomax entered into only with the free and full consent of the buy cheap Flomax intending spouses.
• (3) The family is buy cheap Flomax the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is buy cheap Flomax entitled to protection by society and the State.

Blackenhorn comments:

‘Here we see six important ideas. Marriage is buy cheap Flomax intrinsically linked to children. Men and women have equal rights in marriage. Marriage requires the buy cheap Flomax spouses’ free consent. The natural family is society’s basic group unit. The institution of the buy cheap Flomax family deserves protection. And, marriage is a fundamental human right.

The key point is buy cheap Flomax that each of these ideas is connected to all the buy cheap Flomax others. Freedom is linked to solidarity. Marriage is linked to buy cheap Flomax family. Rights imply responsibility…Together, these six ideas are buy cheap Flomax not perfect and do not tell us everything about marriage, but they ably suggest marriage’s fundamental shape and public purpose.’

3. Finally, that buy cheap Flomax marriage is above all else for the purpose of children has buy cheap Flomax been recognised across all cultures and at all times.

Blackenhorn after presenting a buy cheap Flomax raft of evidence on how marriage has functioned through-out the world writes:

‘Across cultures, marriage is above all a procreative institution. It is buy cheap Flomax nothing less than the culturally constructed linchpin of all human family and buy cheap Flomax kinship systems. Marriage brings together biologically unrelated persons to produce the buy cheap Flomax next generation, create fatherhood as a social role for men, and buy cheap Flomax radically expand the reach and possibility of kinship ties. It brings together the buy cheap Flomax two sexes in such a way that each child is buy cheap Flomax born with two parents, a mother and a father, who buy cheap Flomax are legally and jointly responsible for the child.’

Now the buy cheap Flomax question we must turn to next is does anything about the buy cheap Flomax way in which marriage has traditionally functioned suggest that we should not redefine it buy cheap Flomax now.  What is buy cheap Flomax at stake in a redefinition of marriage and should a society have buy cheap Flomax any concerns?

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An important post on the buy cheap Flomax frightening reality of sexual sin, how to face up to it buy cheap Flomax and how to overcome it.

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Peter Mullen writing in the buy cheap Flomax Telegraph argues that behind the debate about same-sex marriage is a buy cheap Flomax much bigger clash of ideas.

(HT: David Robertson)